House For Six

That One Time I Accidentally Chopped Off All My Hair

Deme Crinion19 Comments
OK.  So, it wasn't a total accident.  But most of my hair is gone and I didn't mean for it to be this short.

I cried like a hormonally imbalanced teenager that had just been dumped as I sat in the parking lot (how did this happen??) and had to give my husband the "heads up" phone call so he wouldn't attack the stranger about to enter his house.

I've had the itch to chop my hair for awhile.  It's been almost 7 years since I last cut it short, and every time I've hacked it off in the past I've regretted it....but I was still ready for something fresh and lower maintenance.

So, this time I wanted to go in with a plan.  I knew if I went too short, the days I wear it naturally curly would be poofville, but I also wanted it short enough to get all the dry ends and really feel like a new style. 

I spent weeks pinning mid/shoulder-length styles and showed them to my stylist.  I told her what I liked and didn't like about each.

I used key words like "slightly angled" and "not a bob".   Yet I still went from this:  


To this: 
It's a bit deceiving because of my wonky collar and you don't really see that it's shorter in the back.  But it's basically about 2 inches shorter than what I requested.

I think she knew and kept asking "What do you think?".  Since having her glue my hair back on wasn't an option, I tried to say positive things like "It feels so much better!"....."the cut is really great".  All true, just not what I had wanted or described.

I know it's ridiculous, but I've become really attached to my long hair.  It's thick, mostly healthy, and usually styles up decently.  I think of it as a distraction from my many other physical insecurities.  There's dark circles, and wide hips, and squishiness, and WRINKLES....but hey, I've got great hair!  

 Then all of a sudden I didn't.  

I knew after she made the first cut that it was really short.  She handed me the ponytail and I had to put it down.  My hair has been long for so long that it was freaking me out to see it separated from my head.
Then she started actually shaping the cut and even more length came off.

It was so short that all the lighter color that once warmed up my skin was gone.  I also had her style it straight so we could see the length and cut, but I otherwise never wear it that way.

So, it was short...it was dark....it was super sleek...and I couldn't breath.

Over the past couple years we've tired to embrace a more simplistic mindset when it comes to our home and life in general...getting rid of the excess, the clutter, the stuff.  Part of not hanging onto things is so that we remain detached.  Sure we want to only fill our homes with things that are beautiful, useful and meaningful.....the things we truly need.  But we also want to make sure we don't forget that in the end it's all just stuff.  We're not taking any of it with us.  And if we're not able to let go of it, then it has power over us.

So it was with my hair.  Without realizing it I had become attached to my long locks...to a certain "look".  It had become heavy (literally), hard to manage, and was a burden, yet I was terrified to let go of it.   I was scared to see myself any other way.

Well, someone had just ripped off the bandaid.  I could cry about it (check) and wallow in the depths of despair, or move on. 

I reluctantly decided there's no point crying over chopped hair.  I couldn't change it, so I tried to find a bright side...

My stylist's happy scissors cut enough for it to be donated.  It feels a million times better.  It's lighter.  It's healthy and soft.  You can see my face and I don't feel like I'm hiding or weighed down.   It's freeing.

Don't get me wrong, I would still take an extra inch or two - I could hardly get my large barrel curling iron around the short pieces!  But each day I like it a little more and I'm not as shocked whenever I walk by a mirror.  I even put on my big earrings and did something different with my make up this weekend. Who am I??

Our lives are about to change once again in January when we welcome our baby girl.  We're in a new city and I feel God calling us to different things.  Subtle things that start with my heart and affect the way we look at the world, our community, and our family.  Can a haircut influence all that?  Maybe not.  But it might help open the heart to change.  It was definitely time, so I'm rollin' with it.


Thanks so much for reading! We would love to hang out!
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