House For Six

"31 Days Of Moving" Day 22: Saying Goodbye To Home

Deme Crinion8 Comments
Lately, it's been hard to write.  Yes, this move has been crazy fast.  Yes, I'm barely keeping track of the piles of paper involved in two home purchases at the same time.  But that's not what's kept me from being able to blog easily.

I will sit up after the kids have gone to bed, thinking about the new place and about the many posts I could write for this moving series (that I had all planned out on my calendar...with back ups to spare).  And yet I sit at the computer and the words feel forced.

I've been writing about a few projects, a few tips, and some updates on our moving progress.  But I haven't really been honest about this move.  So maybe it's time for a good heart-to-heart.  For both our sakes...

I love this house.  Sometimes I catch myself looking around thinking about how much I would do differently, and how I'm just now starting to really understand my own style (not just what I like on Pinterest, or my favorite places to shop for home stuff, or other blogs).  But as much as I can (and will) talk about some design lessons learned and how we hope to make the next place a truer reflection of us, I still. love. this. house.

Even though it's the 3rd house we've technically owned since being married and we lived in 5 rentals before this, it's felt like our first home.

I was hugely pregnant with Jack when we moved in...he was born the day after Christmas, about a month after we got the keys.  My parents were here to be with Mia and Sully while we were bringing that baby into the world and I will never forget the sign hanging on the gate welcoming him home. 

Or the living room they painted and the pictures they hung in the short 48 hours we were at the hospital just so we would have at least one room that felt put together when we came home. 

I loved that room because of the love that made it.  I love this house because of the love that's made it.

We've grown our family here.  We had first steps, and first lost teeth, and scraped knees, and everyone learned to pee on a toilet here.   We made cookies, and art, and lego towers.  We celebrated birthdays and anniversaries.  And we scraped some pretty ugly wallpaper and painted some walls here too.

We lived and loved in this home.  Whenever I begin to even think about it, I get so overwhelmed and emotional that I shift gears to the new house and how excited we are to make that place the next home for us.  But sometimes I find myself just wanting to sit in one of the rooms of this house and do nothing else but simply be there.

I'm typing this at 1 a.m. because I just didn't want to go to bed yet.  My loves (big and little) are all asleep in their beds.  In a place that's familiar and safe.  I know that the new place will eventually be that for us too, but right now the thought of it doesn't feel familiar or safe yet.

This move is happening so fast.  I have complete peace in where God is leading us....His hand has been so evident in so much of this move, but my head is still spinning.  I think I've been in so much of turbo move mode, that I haven't taken the time to acknowledge how hard it is to leave this place.  This house is imperfect and incomplete, but it's been ours. 

We are so thankful to have had such a wonderful place to grow our family...for a home that we could get our hands dirty and make our own....for our dear, dear friends that I can't bear the thought of leaving.  I know I'll have to face the reality of goodbyes here very soon, but I don't need to jump ahead.  I want to sit awhile longer.  I want to share just a few more cups of coffee with women who share my heart.   I want to build a few more lego towers and take a few more nature walks down our street.  I want to tuck my kids into their beds in these rooms and remember these days.

The new house, the new city....both represent a new season of life for us.  We truly are full of anticipation and excitement for it.  But, I think we'll take just a little more time to close this chapter before we move onto the next.  

 *This is part of a 31 day series on moving - catch all the post right here!

Thanks so much for reading! We would love to keep in touch!